Patenthink

Archive for the ‘rail pass’ tag

Skateboards Forever

without comments


20110217-IMG_3723
Have you heard? There is a much ballyhooed war that big-law-firm-America facilities managers are waging against pollution, big carbon footprints, and plain old-school unsustainable eco-hostile un-green attorney behavior.

As in the online game Nuke the Commies, each combatant has picked a weapon of choice for the conflict. The options are limited. Some are tantalizing, like water-free urinals that save something north of two quarts of clear water a flush. Others are boring, like cardboard tea cups that biodegrade in your hand, if you don’t swig your chamomile in a New-York minute. When it comes to saving the planet, every silly little bit helps. I guess.

I’m not in this battle, but if I were, my armaments would be a commuter rail pass and a skateboard. I’ve got a rail pass—a 32-year stack of them sits on the bureau at home.

I don’t have a skateboard. Not yet. But there’s a slick one on eBay that I can BuyNow for $29.00 plus shipping. It’s a great deal. If you don’t mind the cartoon on the rear kick tail depicting Newt Gingrich in swim trunks sporting a “Bill Clinton rules” tattoo on his chest.

Here’s the thing about skateboards: they don’t need gasoline. Really. Just some energetic footwork. You step off the 7:46 inbound train, throw the board onto the track 8 platform. Shazam! A mile and a half in 15 minutes. A quick stop for a non-eco-friendly tomato latte with whipped yogurt and a marischino cherry. And you’re there. At the office. You’re relaxed. Thoroughly exercised. One pound lighter. $22.43 richer. And you got an up-close look at the new paint job on Larry’s Latte food truck down the side alley off Main Street.

Public transportation, folks. It’s the next great frontier. Buses. Subways. Rail. Bicycles. Feet. Talk about preserving the eco-system. Undepleting the ozone. Saving the whales. This is it, man (person—sorry).

Facilities managers can talk themselves breathless about low wattage light bulbs. Automatic light switches that leave you in the dark if you fall asleep working on a ridiculously broad patent claim for a new killer app. Hot water dispensers that don’t heat. Energy-saving photocopiers that take 14 minutes to warm up after 30 seconds of idle time.

Sissy stuff.

Listen to me. Throw away the car keys. Toss your gas card. Close out your $412 a month parking space. Live a little. Protect the globe. Win the war. Maybe even BE the local Nuke the Commies Champion.

Just my two cents.

Written by thinker

May 11th, 2014 at 9:13 pm